Saturday, August 9, 2008

How To Get Out of Work on Halloween

Let’s face it; no one wants to work on Halloween night. During the day is one thing; but at night? No way! In fact, working past 4:00 on Halloween is just unethical and unless you’re an emergency worker (police officer, firefighter, paramedic, ER nurse or doctor) it’s just wrong to show up on Halloween. And employers shouldn’t expect you to.

So how do you get out of going in to work on Halloween? While you can call in sick like last year, we think you can do better than that this year. Your employer needs hard evidence of your inability to perform your appointed duties as an employee. To give you an idea of what we mean, we’ve decided to suggest a few excuses you can use to spend the night partying instead of working your fingers to the bone.

1. Call your boss and tell him or her that you can’t come to work due to the recent zombie infestation. (Have a friend make zombie noises in the background.)

2. Tell your boss that you’re holding a séance to contact your dead Uncle about where he buried his fortune. (Call in the next day and tell him or her that you think you’ve narrowed it down somewhere between the Canadian and Mexican borders.)

3. Tease your hair so that it stands on end and cover your face with black smudge paint. Arrive at work with your clothes singed and torn. Say something like, “I just don’t know what happened. At first I was sitting in my car near that downed power line and then I opened the car door and stepped out . . . .” Twitch a little after every breath for added effect.

Now that you understand the proper techniques involved with getting out of work on your favorite holiday, feel free to come up with your own airtight excuses.

Make this Halloween an adventure with